When I was younger, I would find myself knee deep in a journal. I would write anything and everything I was feeling.
As the years progressed, these words became more fierce and more organized.
I wrote about happiness and heartbreak.
I always wanted to just keep them a secret, after all… wouldn’t people see me as strange, to have all these crazy emotions going onto paper.
Years and years, of watching other people get up on stage and read a passage from their heart.. made me jealous!
How can they not worry or be afraid of hurting someone in their family? How can they not be ashamed of things that have impacted their lives so deeply?
I have not lived a perfect life. I don’t know anyone who has…. but I’m going to share some of my deepest scribes with you right now.. so you can see into my heart. The RAW, REAL, Depth of my SOUL!!
Ready????
36 YEARS IN A MINUTE
Being born was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
The list will be long as I start off at one.
I’ve suffered physical and sexual abuse, rape and neglect.
I’ve had relationships based on disrespect.
Heartaches from divorce and fighting the courts.
I’ve been on drugs trying to make the pain go away.
I’ve listened to the doctors tell me I have heart disease, And I might die today.
I’ve kissed my daughter goodnight and then discovered her dead.
Tell me how guilty you would feel if you were the one who put her to bed.
I’ve wanted to end my life with one shot to the head.
But I keep on eating, that is my punishment instead.
I’ve watched my mother die and be revived many times.
I’ve worried for my children at night as I’ve closed the mini-blinds.
I’ve lost my faith and then found it again.
He said he would never leave me, he would be with me till the end.
I’ve made many mistakes some I can never take back.
I’ve loved and I’ve lost that is a well known fact.
I know what your thinking, can all this be true.
This is my 36 yrs in a min, now what about you?
© Copyright 2009-2017 – Tanya Cunningham
IF IT'S MY TIME
I know that my time on earth maybe through
And I might be coming home to you
The Lord that gave life to me
will be the one to set my spirit free
I've known joy and I've known sorrow
I have loved like there is no tomorrow
When I see my children's faces and their eyes are so bright
I pray with all my heart that they will grow up right
My soul, My Love, My other half has let me see
just how beautiful the world can be
With all the love I've been given and memories I've shared
know no matter what I'll be watching, I will always be there
Go on with life and cry no tears for me
For if it's my time I will be waiting in heaven patiently.
© Copyright 2007-2017 – Tanya Cunningham
3 REASONS FOR MY TEARS
There are many reasons, oh let me count the ways
that bring me to tears on very special days.
The days get easier as the years go by
but knowing your not here gives me reason #1 to cry.
I guess your wondering what #2 could be
If I think back to your laugh it's very easy to see
I miss your laugh, I miss your smile, and how you
made me forget my problems for a little while.
There's many things I miss about you
your humor, when everything else was blue
The way you turned our lives upside down
the day we all lost you.
It's hard sometimes to remember, it's even harder to forget
but my #3 reason for crying is,
I still lay in the bed where you slept.
© Copyright 2007-2017 – Tanya Cunningham
I am very proud of the poems/Scribes, I’ve written.. Some have made their way to songs..
I will be posting more as the time goes by!!
Comments, Likes and shares…. are welcome!
48 and Counting 